Love

coyotequeens:

This is for Amber, who won a fic from me in a giveaway like a year ago (I’m so sorry it’s taken so long ;___;). She asked for a Sterek jock/nerd auction.  

"Derek, please.”

"I said no, Cora," Derek replies waspishly, rolling onto his back. He drags a hand over his face. "I have plans."

"Oh please," Cora scoffs. "Studying doesn’t count."

"Finals are - "

"Two weeks away," Cora cuts in scornfully. "It’s only a couple hours, Derek, not a full day. You’re not going to be missing out on anything."

Derek scowls up at the ceiling, trying another direction. “You can’t just pimp me out like this. I - “

"Oh my god,” Cora sighs. “Look, I didn’t do this to ruin your life, okay? I was legitimately going to go, but I can’t swap shifts again or Mel says she’ll fire me - I wasn’t going to pull you into this. I don’t see why you’re complaining; it’s all paid for, and it’s all for charity. A good cause, Derek!”

"If it’s all paid for, then why do I have to go?" Derek argues.

Cora sounds like she’s about to pull her hair out. “Because I thought it might be nice for you to get out of your apartment? Just ignore the fact that it’s a date and think about it as a chance to get a nice meal on someone else’s dime, okay?”

Derek hesitates. He has been eating a lot of microwave meals lately. “Isn’t your date going to be pissed when a guy shows up? Won’t he be expecting you?”

He can almost hear Cora shrug. “He’ll probably just be happy someone shows up, to be honest. I only bid on him because no one else did and I felt bad. And anyway, his little stat sheet thing said he was bisexual, so I think it’ll be fine.”

Derek sighs. “What’s his name?”

"I don’t know."

"Cora - "

"I don’t know,” Cora repeats, aggrieved. “They were playing up the whole mystery date thing. You just go to the restaurant and tell them you’re there for Bachelor #6, and they do the rest.”

"This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of, and I’m including that time Laura thought it would be a good idea to jump off the roof into the shallow end of the pool," Derek says, and Cora giggles at the memory. He sighs again. "I’ll do it, but only because I want steak."

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cakejam:

adobe-outdesign:

sociallychallengednerd:

what if lawn mowers are so loud because they have to cover the screams of the grass being massacred. 

http://media.tumblr.com/9e0ccfbe05bb74b6c1070ff6c2a54558/tumblr_inline_mjwffvintM1qz4rgp.gif

wow what version of windows do u have this is 2014

earthnation:

my room isn’t messy it’s grunge

friclge:

I don’t wanna go to work. I don’t wanna grow up. I’m not going, I’m going to stay home and watch Mulan

lame-waves:

i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

vicradlehead:

this post is the only one that has 12 million notes and it changes all the time. the flubber robin williams, the rogerina, the “reblog if you dont have a tumblr” and the dean winchester gym shorts is literally all the same post and you guys are astonished that it has so many notes every time a new version of it comes around

myherocomplex:

I will never get tired of this story.

therealslimhussie:

mypatronusisyou:

jimfaindel:

werewolfchaos:

pagingme:

tastefullyoffensive:

[blaine gibson]

GASTON

Nobody get’s confused like Gaston

I cry for all those who do not know who this man is

Jasmine just looks so done though

pmhl